03/07/14 06:47 Filed in: Village Grandma
Drove through the Village the other day It looks like we're getting another shoppe ... something to do with yarn and cotton. We're beginning to resemble those English villages you might see on the BBC. You know, those quaint little towns with a friendly coffee shop, artsy establishments for tourists, a couple of restaurants, a library, a barber shop, an ultra sound facility?
Oh wait ... never mind.
I have a small house. Nevertheless, I have ample floor space. So, why did Gump find it necessary to cough up a huge hairball into one of my slippers? I’m just wondering.
For those of you who are not aware, Greendale is famous for it's huge crawl space centipedes. I have the perfect household hint for a humane, ecologically sound way to get rid of them. Since they are most often found in a sink or bathtub it is quite simple to boil a teapot full of water and dump the boiling water directly onto the offending bug. It appears to me that death is instantaneous.
Well, to my surprise, a couple of my children were aghast at my solution to the centipede problem. I guess they found it disturbing that a mother and grandmother could be so “unfeeling and brutal” to one of nature’s creatures.
I've even heard rumors that one of them is in contact with PETA!This would be the second time that I would be in “hot water” with PETA...the first time was when I was keeping squirrels from digging holes in my flower pot dirt by placing knives
in the pots with the blade side up. That worked quite well
Anyhow ... bring it on PETA.
I can tell you from personal experience that, when boiling the centipede water, it is best not to leave the teapot on the hot
burner and then go away (perhaps to a grocery store or to a doctor’s appointment).
Because when you come home you will find that, if left long enough a on the stove, a metal teapot will actually MELT! I
remember when I came home after a similar experience it looked as though Salvador Dali had performed some sort of stove art in my kitchen. And, then of course there's the cleanup. I ended up needing a new burner, and being old and helpless, I asked the one child (who I was sure wouldn’t tell the rest of his siblings about the harmless faux pas) for a little help.
It turns out you just can't trust anybody anymore. It wasn't too much later that I heard murmurings about elder care, Comfort Keepers and geriatric doctors.
The gardening feud with Mr. Green Jeans is in full swing. I will concede that his blanket of roses is eye catching enough. He does have a nice collection of hanging baskets. However, I still prefer my kaleidoscope of colors and shapes.
Right now something yellow is blooming along with a plethora of tall plants with a wispy white flowers (possibly weeds). And, a purple something or other is about to bloom.
Together with my red geraniums, purple and pink petunias and
lavender impatiens ... and then you have to add in the red white and blue of the flags for the Fourth of July. The whole panorama is ... well ... mind numbing.
Must run..I intend to be the first one to put my chair out for the Fourth of July parade..
Until next time,
The Village Grandma